Depression and anxiety broke


 I had anxiety as a child. I had anxiety as a teenager. I had anxiety as an adult. I had depression as a teenager. I had depression as an adult. At 17 I went crying to my dad at 3 AM saying “I don’t want to cut myself but I need to.” In 2017 I was suicidal. My anxiety was so bad I couldn’t drive for 6 months. But God wasn’t done with me; my story wasn’t finished. 

In 2017 I found out I had medication resistant depression. I had a chemical imbalance and my body would only metabolize 2 antidepressants. I got help. I saw a psychiatrist and counselor. 

2020 I did counseling again with my pastor. That is when I dealt with generational curses. Every women in my family has depression and anxiety. My uncle died of suicide. What my forefathers/mothers didn’t bind in the blood of Jesus and break off the chains of, I was dealing with! See depression cursed my family. I read Free At Last by Larry Huch and broke those generational curses off. By the blood of Jesus shed on Calvary we are free! 

Having depression doesn’t make you a bad person. It doesn't mean you dont trust God. Getting help doesn’t make you weak. It doesn't mean you don't trust God. Seek wise counsel! Get help! Your emotions are valid! They are temporary though so don’t make permanent decisions on temporary emotions. God says we will walk through the valley, not sit! So what do you do? 

For many years I sat and wollowed in my depression. Now I fight it with worship music playing non stop when I can. I claim scripture when I need to fight the depression and anxiety. When I feel like no one could love me, I remind myself I am a child of the King of kings and that God so loved the world (that includes me!) that he sent his one and only son! For I am never alone! If he cares for the sparrows and dresses the lilies how much more does he love me? 

Sometimes its a daily battle to rebuke the depression, remind Satan that it is under the blood, and speak scripture over myself. Sometimes its minute by minute. The enemy wants to find ANY and ALL footholds he can! 

Keep rebuking it! Keep praising in the storms! Keep your eyes on Jesus and the promises of wholeness he has given! Keep keeping on! Your story isn't over yet; as long as there is air in your lungs, you still have a purpose! 

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