What is a Wife?


 What is a wife? 


Genesis tells us that God realized it wasn’t good for man to be alone, that He decided to make a “helper suitable for him” (Gen. 2:18).  


A HELPER:

How can we help our husbands? Supporting them in life and their ministry. This does not mean you are inferior to your husband. You are not your husbands servant! You are your husbands co-laborer to Christ. In Genesis 2:18 woman is describe as ezer kenegdo. This shows that Eve was to be a counterpart to Adam. And the reverse applies too, Adam was a counterpart to Eve. On their own each were lacking something, but together they perfectly complimented each other. Eve walked beside, not behind, Adam. My husband has been called to the ministry. God placed a calling in his life. My job as his wife is to support him. Uplift and encourage him. I don’t want to be a hinderance on his calling or his walk with God. 


R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Find out what it means to me! Woooooohoooo! A little respect. We now conclude the musical portion of this article. 


RESPECT YOUR HUSBAND

When you respect your husband you reverence him, notice him, regard him, honor him, prefer him, and esteem him. It means valuing his opinion, admiring his wisdom and character, appreciating his commitment to you, and considering his needs and values. Our husbands have many needs. I asked Corey what a mans primary needs are and he said: Sleep, sex and food. A little more basic than I expected but let’s go with it. As a wife there are needs that your husband has that only YOU can fulfill. 


SUBMIT TO YOUR HUSBAND: 

Submit to the leadership of your husband.  Now don’t just scroll past this part. That includes you mom!!! (CoughKimcough) did I just call my mom out? Yes I did. She will gladly tell you that she took the word “obey” out of her wedding vows. She told Grandpa, “If he tells me to jump off a bridge I’m not going to do it. I’m not starting this marriage out on a lie.”

Submitting to the leadership of your husband does not mean that you are a mindless subservient though. You do not obey blindly. This is not something that the husband is supposed to hold over you to abuse or use you. When Corey and I were dating, we had a conversation about what a submissive wife was. I told him that I had issues being submissive due to hurt, pain and trauma from my first marriage. Corey told me, “You submitting to my leadership doesn’t mean I will be a tyrant. My job is to love you as God loves the church.” My previous experience was either I submit fully without question or feel the wrath and consequences. 

The Bible says, 

“Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body. —Ephesians 5:22-30”


To become the servant-leader God has commanded him to be, Corey needs my gracious respect and submission. And when Corey loves me the way he is commanded to, I can more easily submit myself to that leadership. I do this with an attitude of entrusting myself to God. Submission is first an attitude of love, respect, and gentleness in the way you speak and act toward your husband. You should also expect to receive this attitude of love and respect from him. In every aspect of life there a pecking order, a hierarchy. In the animal kingdom we seem male lions being the alpha. Does that mean a lioness is worthless? Of course not. The lioness gives birth and takes care of the young. The lionesses do the hunting for their pride! But they submit to the authority of the male Lion. In the work place there are employees, team leads, assistant managers, managers, general managers, Vice President and Presidents. Are the vice president or president better than the rest of the people? No. Without everyone the company won’t work or succeed. But we must submit to their authority. The same is true in a marriage. God made man the head of the house for this reason. God gave this position to man to create order. 


A special note: Some live with abuse or in excessively unhealthy and destructive conditions in your marriage. At times, it may be inappropriate or even life-threatening for you to apply unquestioningly the principles of submission. For example, if you are being physically or verbally abused, you need to take steps to protect yourself and your children. If you are in that situation, please discerningly seek out your pastor or someone wise who has been trained to help with your specific issue. Loving, forgiving, and submitting does not mean that you become a doormat or indefinitely tolerate significantly destructive behavior.


COMPANIONSHIP

A Christian wife should be her husband’s friend. After God placed the first man, Adam, in the garden of Eden, he declared, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him” (Gen. 2:18). While she doesn’t need to join in on all of her husband’s activities, a Christian wife should enjoy spending as much time as possible with her spouse.


A VIRTUOUS WIFE

The Scripture asks the question “Who can find a virtuous wife?” Then declares “For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her” (Prov. 31:10, 11). The word virtuous means one who possesses strength and substance. The word worth literally means if you had to pay for this kind of service it would be incredibly expensive; far above the cost of rubies. Scripture therefore reveals that a virtuous wife is far from an inferior position in a marriage. You are worth more than his paycheck could sustain!


Being a Godly wide, a Proverbs 31 wife should be our goal. We have to be selfless in order to meet the needs of our partner. This is something that should be reciprocated.

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