Modesty

 

I am laying in bed unable to sleep and am scrolling through Facebook. I started to think about my teenage years after seeing some post of people’s teenage daughters. I thought, “My parents would have never have let me dress like that.” And I realized how thankful for that I was. 

As a teenager my mom would frequently tell me “You need to put a sweater on.” She wasn’t saying this because it always cold in Seattle where I was raised, she said this because she thought I needed to dress more modest. Boy did it infuriate me! I am sure I complained about how “uncool” she was being. The 90’s and early 2000’s were a time the low rise jeans, tube tops, one armed shirts, belly shirts and tight clothes being popular and “in style”. There was an ongoing fight with my mom over a one sleeved shirt that I just had to have. 

What I didn’t understand at 13 is that I did not have the body of a 13 year old! I was well endowed and curvy. I looked older than I was. My mom has frequently  said “I don’t know anyone besides you and Dolly Parton that can show cleavage in a turtle neck.” I longed to dress like other teenage girls and have “cool parents” who didn’t tell me to put a sweater on. 

Fast forward to 2014 when I was at FedEx Forum for a concert. There were people there dressed in what looked like lingerie. I texted my mom “Thank you for telling me to put a sweater on” as I sent her a picture of some scantily clad women. 

“Put a sweater on” is an ongoing joke in my family now. But really it’s a call to be set apart. 

As a Christian we are called to be set apart. We should strive to be a Proverbs 31 women. 

25 She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.

26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. 


Now don’t get me wrong. I am not saying dressing a certain way makes a women “ask for assault.” As someone who was sexually molested I understand that pain. People who assault others are dealing with their own demons. What we need to be careful of is wrote in Romans 14:13-23. 

“13 Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother. 14 I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself, but it is unclean for anyone who thinks it unclean. 15 For if your brother is grieved by what you eat, you are no longer walking in love. By what you eat, do not destroy the one for whom Christ died. 16 So do not let what you regard as good be spoken of as evil. 17 For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. 18 Whoever thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men. 19 So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.

20 Do not, for the sake of food, destroy the work of God. Everything is indeed clean, but it is wrong for anyone to make another stumble by what he eats. 21 It is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that causes your brother to stumble.[a] 22 The faith that you have, keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who has no reason to pass judgment on himself for what he approves. 23 But whoever has doubts is condemned if he eats, because the eating is not from faith. For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin.”


Yes this verse references food, but it can be applied to so many other aspects of our lives. Let’s face it, many men in society today struggle with lust and porn addictions. The way we dress can be a stumbling block for them. Would you invite a recovering alcoholic to a bar for drinks? No! So should we wear short skirts or shorts, low cut tops that show cleavage, or clothes so tight that NOTHING is left to the imagination? Of course not. I know 100% that Corey Richardson will tell everyone that he doesn’t want his wives body in display for everyone else to see. There are some things in life that are just for our husbands. 


As a women, we are so much more than our physical attributes. We are able to bring life into the world, we are smart, funny, kind, caring, and capable of things that the opposite gender can not do.

As a teenager being loved for my mind didn’t mean much. I wanted to be cool, popular and accepted. But as a 34 year old women I want to leave a legacy behind that is honorable to God! I want to be known not only for my mind, but for my heart. 


“Beauty is vain and charm is deceitful. But a women who fears the Lord is to be praised!” Proverbs 31:30


I don’t say any of this to condemn or judge anyone. My hope and hearts prayer is that maybe this is an insight you had not thought of. I am not a prude by any means either. I want to see people going after God with all their heart! But I don’t want to see anyone’s cleavage or behinds, and I definitely don’t want my husband seeing them. 


https://www.christianity.com/wiki/christian-life/what-the-bible-does-and-does-not-say-about-modesty.html?amp=1

https://clothedinsunlight.com/2016/02/07/why-is-modesty-important/

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